It seems like every place I’ve ever lived in as an adult has had at least one nasty rust stain somewhere, usually a reddish column running from the overflow drain into the basin of the bathroom sink or tub. You may think this reveals something negative about the general level of cleanliness in my home, but actually I’m kind of neurotic about cleaning. In fact, I’ve spent a lot of time scrubbing at those rust stains, and several times I’ve even committed, in desperation, what I now know is the cardinal sin of rust removal: I tried using chlorine bleach. So it wasn’t a lack of fastidiousness that doomed me to years of rust-stained bathrooms; it was a lack of knowledge. Now I know. And what I know is that cleaning rust isn’t so hard after all. Since I’m not the kind of girl who keeps things to herself, I wrote an article about how to clean rust. So now you know.
As I have written in my article, the term mildew is actually plant mold, but popular usage of the term now refers to mold growing in moisture-prone areas of the home like bathrooms and basements. In my place, it was the bathroom. The mildew was present in the shower the day we bought the house, but other projects always seemed more dire. As I tried to get clean in the mornings, I would always wonder how I was going to clean the mildew. One such morning, the rubber lining around my shower fell onto my shoulders like a dead boa constrictor. That was my Pearl Harbor; war was finally declared. I turned to the tried and true staples in my green cleaning arsenal, and now I wonder why I just didn’t clean the mildew sooner. Well, it has excited my gag reflex for the last time. Read my latest article on how to clean mildew without resorting to products containing depleted uranium, as well as how to prevent mildew and deal with other mildew-related issues.
Wild party. Four in the morning. The last sorry soul just dragged himself out of your kitchen and you’re ready for bed, but wait - Is that red wine all over your granite floor? And is that more red wine all over your granite countertops? Yes, these things happen. If they were chipped yellow tagboard countertops (like mine), you might really not care, but we’re talking granite here. The thought of damaged granite strikes fear in those who have dished out loads of money to finally have them, so it makes sense that the thought of cleaning them is scary too. What if you use the wrong thing (like vinegar)? What if you make them…less beautiful? Granite is indeed beautiful, but it’s also tough. As long as you know what it likes and what it doesn’t, you should be able to keep your granite for as long as you want. Hey - your great-grandchildren may someday be spilling wine on your floor! Read my latest article on how to clean granite and you’ll keep it looking good for years to come.
I have several fond memories of carpet from my childhood. Oddly enough, I’m pretty sure they all end up with a carpet stain of some sort. For instance, when I was a little tyke living in Dawson MN, we had a sun room that was used as a kids playroom. So there I was, sitting and playing comfortably on the soft orange and yellow shag carpet floor with my Tonka Trucks. There was a band-aid on my big toe from an accident involving gravity and a big rock from about a week prior. The toenail underneath the band-aid was sporting some beautiful shades of blue, black and purple and was still a few days from being ready to fall off on it’s own. I was crawling around on my knees happily rolling my trucks over my He-Man toys when my mom called me for lunch. Being the fat kid that I was, I got pretty excited. I jumped up as best I could, screamed and fell right back to the carpet. In my haste for nutrition, I somehow managed to get my toenail (even with a band-aid on) stuck in carpet fibers and the whole damn thing was ripped off. Of course I made no effort to try to stop the blood. I just sat there, crying while it ran down my foot and onto the carpet where Mom later attempted to clean it up. Had I known then what I know now, I could have been of some use. And so, all these years later, an attempt for redemption is made. Please have a look at How to Clean Carpet Stains. Someday, when you need to clean a carpet stain caused by your own kid, you’ll be glad you did.
Last week I unearthed my wife’s Nintendo from a neglected pile of boxes untouched since we moved. I hooked it up only to be confronted with a blinking screen or garbled graphics. Since they haven’t seen any action in years, I decided it was time to clean our collection of NES games. Being a gamer of many years, handling the game cartridges invoked a deep sense of nostalgia. Back in the days of the cartridge consoles, you didn’t need to worry about disc scratches, what position the system is in, or any of the major malfunctions the modern toys are prone to. The process of cleaning a game cartridge is simple and the same whether you’re cleaning a game for the NES, the Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis, Nintendo 64, Game Boy…etc. Read my article on how to clean a game and relive those priceless gaming experiences. Let your Sega take you back to the days before prepubescent boys screamed racist and otherwise profoundly stupid things over the Internet.
Every time I clean my floors, I have this debate with myself over whether I prefer hardwood or carpet. Usually, the winner is whichever surface I’m not cleaning right at that moment, because each is unruly in its own special way. Hardwood has its dust bunnies and its drying time after mopping. Carpet would be easier to care for (Just vacuum!) if it weren’t for the layer of filth that gradually builds up in high-traffic areas. To get rid of it, you’re pretty much stuck begging, renting, or buying a carpet extractor, and then let’s talk about drying time. Also, what exactly is in the soap you have to put in those machines? I’m only curious because every time I clean my carpet, I end up dumping a ton of it down the drain, and for the next week I have a constant layer of it on the soles of my feet. I’ve always thought it would be reassuring to know that cleaning carpet wasn’t tantamount to pumping the environment and my body full of toxic chemicals. So imagine my joy when I learned how to clean carpet without mysterious detergents. The details are all in my latest article.
Mold and I have a history. When I was in third grade, I developed acute allergies to mold and dust. I would wake up with splotchy red eyes, and a nasal cavity brimming with gelatinous ooze. I looked like an extra in a low-budget horror film. Neither my parents nor I really learned how to clean up the mold problem; rather, we focused on how to deal with my allergic reactions. Years of allergy treatments later, I’ve purchased my own home, and because it is ancient and I live in lake country, I have finally been forced to learn how to clean mold. I found mold in the walls, in the bathroom, and in the basement of my new home - and it was all very painful. But through my pain there is much to be learned - for example, what chemicals are practical, safe, and environmentally sound for a mold cleanup job. You’ll learn what items can be cleaned and which ones must be disposed of. There is also a good deal about mold prevention in the article, so if you suspect your house is being digested by a slime, or your nose won’t stop blathering on about the wall’s fancy new fur coat, you owe it to both of them to give my new article on how to clean mold a read.
When was a kid, I used to want to be a window washer - the kind that rappels like a ninja down sky scrapers. I loved washing our car windows with a squeegee while my father put on gas. There is power in a squeegee; as you glide it across a soapy glass surface, you feel slightly like a sorcerer… “I command you, be free and shiny.” Perhaps that’s just me. Anyhow, my dreams were dashed when I realized that (A) I had a desperate fear of heights and (B) window washers sometimes fall to their deaths. Though my career took another path, I still know how to use a squeegee better than most ninjas handle a bow staff. Read my latest article to learn how to clean glass using green household ingredients to clean windows, mirrors, and picture frames.
When I’m not busy writing how-to articles, I work for a large chain of retail stores that recently replaced its DOS-based cash register system. The new registers have LCD touch-screens, and every time I start a shift at the register, I have to fight my gag reflex, which gets all excited by the greasy fingerprints (and fingersmears and fingersmudges and sometimes fingerchunks) the last person left all over the screen that I’m expected to touch. Our managers have instructed us to clean the screens with window cleaner and paper towels, so I do (I didn’t pay for the registers, after all), but deep down in my heart I know it’s wrong. LCD screens are not glass, and they require different cleaning methods than glass. Fortunately, except for the need to perform a tiny bit of simple chemistry, cleaning an LCD monitor is just as easy as cleaning a glass-screened CRT monitor. My latest article goes over all the steps. Maybe someday, if I’m feeling charitable toward the Man, I’ll forward the link to my employer so they’ll know how to clean an LCD monitor without gradually destroying it.
