It’s finally come to this…your home has become so out-of-control, so chaotic that you’ve turned to the Internet to learn how to clean house. Risky, but if you’ve made it here you’re heading in the right direction. Here at How to Clean Things our philosophy is that house cleaning should be easy, low-maintenance, and non-toxic. Sounds simple enough, but following through on this will show you how different this strategy is compared to the just-spray-this-on-it, take-some-speed-and-clean-all-day method pushed by our commercial culture. We are constantly urged to bring more things into our homes, and when things get dirty, we use untested chemicals to get the job done. Yikes. (That’s right…yikes.) Read my latest article on how to clean a house, lest you end up like Mrs. Cuddles Bear.
Nasal congestion can hamper your quality of life in many ways. First of all, not being able to breathe clearly can lead to poor moods and grumpiness. Grumpy or not, congestion also interferes with work, both mental and physical. What’s more, without a clean nose, you’ll undoubtedly be forced to mouth breathe. And mouth breathers are (unfortunately) widely considered to be subhuman in our society. Also, you’ll probably never have sex with someone once they have seen your nose goblins. Ok…you’re horrified enough already. You want to know how to clean your nose. Well, there are many ways to dispatch snot and defeat boogers without the use of your index finger. There are saline nasal irrigation products, neti pots, OTC drugs, and natural treatments like eucalyptus oil . Learn about these and more in my latest article.
First of all, cymbal cleaning is completely a matter of preference. Many great drummers are content to let their cymbals develop a deep, dark tarnish. This happens to cymbals when they are exposed to air or moisture. Tarnish actually protects metal. Some percussionists get rid of the tarnish for cosmetic reasons. They want to shine on stage; it’s part of the presentation. Others believe that shiny, clean cymbals emit a sharper, more resonant sound suited for heavier music. Whatever your reasons are, you can learn how to clean cymbals by reading my latest article. I cover commercial cymbal cleaners, common metal polishes, as well as natural, homemade metal cleaners. You’ll also find tips for cymbal care, maintenence, and storage. Follow any link to see how it’s done.
You’re awake, but you allow your alarm to grow more and more alarming. To stay under the covers would be best, but you know that’s not possible. Finally, the promise of a nice warm shower wills you from your bed. Usually you enter and leave the bathroom without being conscious of much, but today you are on your game. You look up (about to ask God to get you out of work) and notice that your shower head is quite disgusting. With the vast mineral build up and thin sheet of slime, your shower head looks as though it’s wearing a white and green, unkempt beard. You know you cannot be made clean while standing under this thing. Not only is it gross, but its stream has lost power. Your shower head is like an old, homeless man half-heartedly vomiting. You know it’s cleaning time, but you’re not quite sure how to clean a shower head. You decide to use Google, and that brings you here. Here you learn how to make your shower head clean. You learn how to remove and install a shower head without causing damage or leaks. You learn how to remove mineral deposits and get that water pressure back. Here you (basically) unlock the secrets of the universe.
If you want to learn how to clean a bowl, you’re either pretty new to smoking pot or you’ve been smoking joints and eating brownies. Bowls, pipes, and bongs are great, efficient ways to enjoy marijuana; however, the marijuana resin that builds up in such pieces can be vexing. It ruins the taste. It looks disgusting. It interferes with your bowl’s ability to deliver a truly epic hit. Worst of all, it bonds to your bowl like cement. So what do you do? Well, you could go and buy a commercial bowl cleaner. Those products work well. However, I can teach you how to clean a bowl using several popular methods that cost almost nothing. Follow any of the links and you’ll be smoking from a clean bowl once again.
Commercial drain cleaners like Drano are the most dangerous, toxic chemicals commonly found in homes. Awareness of the toxicity of such products has in part spurned the demand for safer, natural cleaning products and strategies. In this article you can learn how to clean a drain - whether it smells or is clogged - using a variety of methods that are safe for you, your family, and the environment. When you’re finished, you’ll know how to make your own homemade drain cleaner, plunge and snake a drain, and even remove that pungent, corpse-left-in-the-sun odor. Someday you’ll teach your children how to clean a drain, and they will love you for it. If you like using commercial products, I list a few eco-friendly brands that have a conscience. Read, enjoy, and may your clean drain run freely.
If you want to learn how to clean metal, first you must identify what kind of metal you’ll be cleaning. There are many different types and each has its quirks. Stainless steel can be stained. Cast iron cookware hates soap and sometimes requires seasoning. Brass and copper form a protective tarnish, and removing this may remove value. Silver can be cleaned using a nifty chemistry trick. Clean, shiny gold can get you laid, robbed, or both. As you can see, metal cleaning isn’t a one-size-fits-all affair. Read my latest article on how to clean metal for straight-forward advice, eco-friendly strategies, green metal cleaning products, and fun facts that can later be used to wow friends.
When I was young, my brother and I used to play a fun game. One of us would stand next to the sink with one hand in the garbage disposal. The other would stand against the opposite wall, and at a time of their choosing they would dash for the switch. The trick was to keep your hand in the garbage disposal until the last second. This would prove how couragous you were. My brother was very, very courageous. Because I disfigured him for life, my father made me clean the garbage disposal. I though this was unfair; he had lost the game and, besides, it was his mess that led to a clogged garbage disposal. The only good thing that came of this is that I learned how to clean a garbage disposal. And because of my unflagging moral standards, I learned how to clean a garbage disposal - both the stinky and clogged variety - using environmentally friendly methods. If you want a clean garbage disposal and are courageous like my brother, follow a link.
Dryer vent cleaning isn’t as glamorous as other household chores. Everything behind the dryer, including ducts and the vent itself, is completely out of sight. You won’t get a high five, a pat on the back or butt for your efforts. However, the time you invest just may save your record collection from a fiery death. The same goes for you and your loved ones. Each year, clogged and unclean dryer vents cause thousands of fires in the United States. “Nah,” you think. “It’s too big of a hassle.” Not true. I learned how to clean a dryer vent in minutes, and I’m no Bob Villa. Even if I were Bob Villa’s nemesis, Tim Taylor, and I suffered a massive stroke after a botched episode on roofing, I’d still have the ability to clean a dryer vent. Read my latest article to learn how it’s done.
I can’t wait to have children. That way I can blame them for the messes in the dryer. I won’t have to try to explain why I left crayons in my pocket…or what a 27-year-old man was doing with crayons in the first place. The dryer is sort of my domestic Achilles’ heel. I’ve left gum, candy, pens, markers, and yes, crayons in the dryer. If my wife didn’t know me, she would think I enjoyed terrorizing our innocent, clean dryer. Oh well, live and learn. Or, in my case, learn to live with yourself. I’ve learned how to clean a dryer that’s been spoiled in many ways, and because I own a gas dryer, I’ve learned how to do it with safe, non-flammable supplies. Play it up. Tell your spouse or significant other (or neighbor, dog, etc…) that it can’t be done. Then read my lastest article and bask in applause and domestic accolades, which won’t melt in the dryer.