When I was little, my mother doted on me. One good-intentioned, loving thing she did was clean my ears. She would call me over to sit on her lap while she slammed Q-tips through my eardrum and into my temporal lobe. So what if I lost the ability to recognize speech and button my pants? I had clean ears. Today doctors admonish us (too late for some) not to put anything smaller than our elbows into the ear.  If that didn’t leave you disillusioned, this will: Ear wax, one of the nastiest bodily emissions, is good for us. It waterproofs, protects, and lubricates ears. Ironically, one of its main functions is ear cleaning. That’s impressive, but in excess, ear wax can lead to hearing loss, itchiness, pain, tinnitus, and loneliness. So ear wax does serve a purpose, but you can get rid of it if you’re experiencing symptoms. In my latest article, I demonstrate how to clean your ears using methods your doctor (and temporal lobe) would approve.